Most of the time I do my “writing” late at night in bed. The thing is, I don’t usually write it down. 🙂 It’s mostly just in my head. By the time I wake up, it’s just an impression and the actual words are gone. I do some of my best writing that way. Needless to say, that’s why I don’t write as much as I would like in my blog. But, a couple of weeks ago I had words swirling in my head and I needed to write them down. So I actually got a pen and paper and wrote. Not anything long or super profound, but it meant something to me in the moment. But I wasn’t ready to share the words… I needed to hold them close to me for awhile and just feel them. I guess I’m ready to share them now. This is what came to me on a night I was feeling a little lost and alone.
CHOICES
I chose to make you a priority…
but I was somewhere down on your list
I chose to let you in and see straight to my soul…
but you’ve kept me at arms length
I chose to be there for you when your world got crazy…
but I didn’t get the same in return
I have no doubt that I love you
I have no doubt that you love me too
But our love together has been sorely tested
The things we have said to each other lately – I’m not proud of a lot of my contributions
I don’t know where to go from here. I need more than “I love you” to keep holding on.