It all started at the airport bar when I looked over at IBTerri and said, “you did NOT just say that!” and it just spiraled from there. We got to our hotel room and we just kept coming out with these one liners, that taken out of context would be so funny – at least to us. We kept saying, “oh my God… if anyone heard what we are saying”. And that’s when it hit me. I knew if I didn’t write them down we’d lose them all! And I just couldn’t have that. So I grabbed the Planet Hollywood note pad and 11 pages later, plus one napkin, we have quotes from Vegas.
Some of them are really funny. And some of them I look and say, “huh?” And some of them I can hardly read whether from laughing while I was writing or from the amount of ‘tini’s consumed. Haha! So here they are, in the order written and completely out of context. Hopefully a few will give you a giggle. All I know is that writing them in the moment was a hoot!
Thursday night to Monday morning:
1. I like cherries
2. You sound like my 13 year old nephew, said to the smoking woman
3. I will take care of your boarding passes if you take care of me in the other way
4. I hate hotel comforters because there’s always cum all over them
5. Discussion of “seaman sauce” as we’re drinking creamsicle martinis
6. Yeah, her pillow is all wet
7. Got rings? Huh? RINGS! Ohhhhhh riiiinggggs (think about it for a moment… it’ll come to you)
8. I wonder if mine works… it’s all bent
9. Oh, she’s like a Monet, from far away she looks good, but up close, not so much
10. Ridden hard and put away wet one too many times – yeah, we’re bitches
11. The one with the tongue that eats the jello pudding cup with no hands!
12. I still like sparkley balls
13. I have that skirt in SL!
14. They have ones that are “this big”. We call those Hymes
15. Yeah, pump it baby!
16. Who the fuck needs porn?… Just hang out at the bar
17. She’s fucked up… or down… or up and down
18. Leave it out!
19. I think it’s all at the bottom
20. I just lean down and suck on it
21. It’s too slippery, I can’t get it off… I can’t get it off either… Ohhhh there it goes
22. Wiggly Lisa’s rooster just died!
23. It comes out slow, but it works
24. This is the most fun I’ve had in a hotel room ever!
25. I’m so limber when I’m drunk
26. It’s hard!
27. Ok it’s all off my chest
28. This is gonna be really hot… yes it is, cause it gets coated as you put it in
29. I like the long ones! – yes, I know
30. I like mine in layers. You start at the the beginning and work your way to the end
31. I am totally numb right now and sooooo enjoying it
32. We need a man to finish the meal and then get lost
33. I think anything would taste good right now
34. I hate this stuff… you gotta bang it to get it out!
35. We should take our picture with her seeing as we’re the lesbians
36. Were you guys together all night?
37. I need to fix myself
38. A couple of guys will lose their load over that one
39. Hyme is number one!
40. I am gong to try a girl before I die… just not you, you’re too good of a friend
41. We’re not cheap lesbians
42. I think I am a voyeur, I like to watch
43. Can I play with it? Have fun!
44. Does it come with one of those stick thingys? No… just your finger.
And there you have it! Random quotes from Vegas. We promised ourselves we’d type them all up with no editing. And that’s what I’ve done. Let me know if you have a favorite.